I am happy to report that our Dossier was received in Beijing,China on April 16,2012. Yay!, it feels like a huge accomplishment after months of paperwork. Next step is waiting, praying and preparing for getting the phone call with a referral for our sweet daughter. How long will this waiting time take? If I only knew, but only God knows that perfect moment. Our agency estimates that for our requests and medical conditions we have agreed to be open to that our wait time might be 6-12 months. They can't predict what and when they receive referrals so there really is no way of knowing when the call will come. I'm kinda going with the plan of expecting it to take awhile but being prepared for it to happen tomorrow!
It's amazing how many thoughts and emotions go through my head regarding our adoption on a daily basis all while going through my normal routine of working, and taking care of the two special men in my life. On any given day I can think about what my sweet girl may look like, whether she is born yet, is she still with her birth mom or is she living at the orphanage.i think about what kinds of needs will she have medically,physically,and emotionally, what will it be like on Gotcha Day and how will Cameron adjust? These are just a few of the thoughts in my head.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my daughter's birth mom. I have always felt a sense of gratitude for the choose she has or will make to carry my child to term and giving her life.Over the past week I have begun to think about what she may be going through having to make the choice to give up, or even possibly abandon the child that grew in her womb. I came across a book that tells the story of a birth mom in India and the adopted mom in America.
Upon giving birth to her first daughter the child was immediately killed by the father just simply for being a girl. When she gave birth to her second daughter she walked for miles only a day after giving birth to take her to an orphanage choosing to give her up in order to save her life. Her third pregnancy resulted in a boy which all her family rejoiced over and acted as if it were her first child. This mom although loved her son so had to live with the sadness and loss of her daughters all alone.
This really has made me grieve for my daughter's birth mom. Will she always feel a sense of loss and emptiness over her child. Having had the opportunity to have been pregnant with Cameron I can not even imagine having to live my life without him. That pain would be indescribable.
So as I pray for my daughter I also pray for the women that chose to give her life. I pray the the Lord will give her peace in life to know that there is a mommy, a daddy and a big brother on the other side of the world loving her with all our hearts. It is ironic that what will probably be the hardest thing in this women' life will result in one of the greatest things in my life. It just goes to show that only God and him alone can see the whole picture in life.
I close will a conversation I had with Cameron . I was explaining how his sister would not grow in my belly but in another mommy's belly but that mommy wouldn't be able to care for her. After looking at my with surprise he said,"well that's ok mama because she will have me for a brother and you for a mommy so she will be real happy!" :) From the mouths of babes comes the childlike faith we all should hold dear no matter what our age.
